the Devil cheats at marbles

One day the Devil came across a bunch of kids playing marbles. (Remember marbles? No, not mobiles, marbles.)

"Hey kids mind if I join you?" the Devil asked politely, (but inwardly smirking at the prospect of roasting a few kids for lunch).

They didn't mind so the Devil squatted down on Zer goatish haunches and played marbles with the kids. But the kids were too good for the Devil --- they kept winning, which the Devil found rather irritating. So the Devil started cheating and won a couple games, which made Ez happy, or at least vaguely satisfied in a limited sort of way.

But then the kids just played a little harder, a little better, concentrated a little more, really focused on their objectives, and soon the Devil was losing again, even though Ze was cheating with all Zer might.

Now, losing was not an experience with which the Devil was familiar, and that made Ez feel rather uncomfortable, humiliated, if the truth be told. And feeling humiliated and uncomfortable the Devil emitted a series of sulphurous farts (to relieve a sudden surplus of gas in Zer bubbling boiling stomach).

The children giggled and smirked at the farting Devil, which made the Devil very angry, and very red in the face. Ze roared and snorted like a grumpy old dragon, and black and grey steam came our of Zer ears, and Zer eyeballs bulged out of their sockets, all nine of them.

But the kids weren't scared one little bit, and they weren't in the least bit impressed either. They just carried on playing marbles, and winning, and they giggled behind their hands at the antics of the enraged Devil.

So the Devil threw red hot knives at them, but the knives just bounced off the kids' tungsten-coated optimism.

The Devil got angrier and angrier, and felt more and more humiliated, which made Ez fart louder and louder and at an accelerating rate of fartitude. Until the Devil became so angry that Zer tail fell off, which prompted a veritable gale of hysterical giggling and laughter from the kids.

So the Devil threw hungry lions and poisonous snakes and scorpions and very large psycho killer dogs at the kids. But the kids just petted the hungry lions, and cuddled the poisonous snakes and scorpions, and gave the large psycho killer dogs little tasty doggie treats they had bought with them, specifically for that purpose.

Well, at that point, I can tell you that the Devil was mightily surprised, shocked, really. Ze started wondering who these kids really were, and where they came from. Ze started feeling a little nervous that maybe Ze had bitten off more than Ze could chew. Which in fact was an entirely justifiable concern, because they kids weren't really kids at all, they were messiahs, every last one of 'em.

Well, actually they were little messiahs, kiddie messiahs, messiah offspring if you will. And they all lived at the earth's core, in houses made of molten hot lava, so they didn't care a fig about devils or fire or pitchforks or brimstone or anything like that.

Because they were the Children of the Damned and didn't they know it. Well, to cut a short story shorter still, they got tired of playing with the Devil so five or six or them jumped on top of Ez and held Ez down while the ringleader Child of the Damned removed the Devil's eight (sorry, nine) eyeballs one at a time with a swiss army knife, and put them in a brown paper bag with the rest of the marbles they had won that day.

Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.

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