Wickedly Sick: the dragons went home to Indonesia

On the day that Little Jonnie turned eleven, his mum and dad died. Mad with grief he embarked upon a trail of death and destruction unparalleled in history --- past or future. Inevitably, the Authorities became aware of Little Jonnie's exploits, and a posse was formed to track Little Jonnie Down, and if posse bill, capture him alive.

After a long and merry chase, The Authorities finally cornered Little Jonnie in a long abandoned knacker's yard where rows of steel hooks glinted ominously in the moonlight.

Then the Biggest Angriest Authority said sternly: "You are a very bad little boy Jonnie!"

But Little Jonnie wasn't frightened. Far from it. He looked defiantly at the Biggest Angriest Authority, and said, "I know I'm bad, but what are you?"

And then he laughed in an evil, mad, boy-scientist sort of way like this: "Muahma mwuah muaha ha wawa ma ha!"

Two little pink spots appeared on the cheeks of The Biggest Angriest Authority. He didn't know what to say. He had never encountered anyone like Little Jonnie before.

"What is the meaning of this young man," spluttered the Biggest Angriest Authority.

"Which young man?" Little Jonnie asked provocatively.

"You! You, young man! I believe I'm talking to you!!" The Biggest Angriest Authority's face turned as red as a boiled lobster.

"Believe? Don't you know for sure?" Little Jonnie asked wickedly.

"Why you cheeky little devil. I'll show you what for!!" Apoplectic, the Biggest Angriest Authority's brain edged closer to total meltdown.

And then Little Jonnie pushed it too far. He raised his pinky to the corner of his mouth, laughed his mad boy-scientist laugh, then said slowly, emphasising every word, "...one ...million ...dollars..." That was his big mistake.

The Biggest Angriest Authority smirked and said to the Second Biggest Angriest Authority, "easy enough to get hold of one million dollars, what an idiot, he doesn't deserve to live, let's kill him."

And so all the Big Angry Authorities raised their gums to their shoulders and spat at Little Jonnie…

He tried to tell the Big Angry Authorities it was his birthday but they didn't care, they just carried on spitting at him, just like a gang of komodo dragons on the hunt for fresh meat. Then one Big Angry Authority raised his lizard head, opened his lizard mouth, and in a husky whispery lizard voice he sing-shouted, "Unhappy Birthday to you, Unhappy Birthday to you, you look like a spitball, and you smell like one too!"

Then they all joined in the sing-shouting and the spitting until the toxins in their saliva had done their deadly work, and Little Jonnie went to meet the Big Mad Boy-Scientist in the Sky.

After tearing the corpse to shreds, and gulping the bits of meat down their gaping maws, the dragons went home to Indonesia.

And that was the end of Little Jonnie.

Wickedly Sick

cosmic rapture

the dragons went home to Indonesia